Cowering in the drug house basement, a young Paula Whitman could hear cops shouting and the tap-tap-tap of dogs’ nails running across the linoleum floor upstairs.
Having lived through police raids in the past and fearing the worse, suddenly she felt a hand on her shoulder. Thinking it was a policeman she turned to find no one there.
“In that moment, it was as if divine intervention was summoning me to a higher purpose, telling me that my way of life with drugs was intolerable and that I needed to pull myself up and look for the joy and peace that life offers.”
She traces her addiction, in part, to an emotionally abusive early family life and a lengthy stint as a bartender where she fell victim to the promised euphoria of alcohol and a drug-addled lifestyle.
Monroe native Whitman, 73, the impetus behind the founding of Paula’s House, eventually found her way to an Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) meeting, discovering a place where women struggling with addiction can find positives in even the most challenging experiences in their lives.
Combining AA’s 12-step program with a faith-based approach, Paula’s House surrounds its clients with a support network and the tools they need to overcome addiction and trauma to regain a life of recovery and wellbeing.
It is a long-term model of care providing a structured, safe environment where women can live with or without their children as they work toward learning a trade, improving their education and reuniting with their families.
Whitman believes that short-term treatment isn’t a magic bullet, and that addiction is a chronic illness that requires long-term support. She notes that well-intentioned, traditional treatment often crumbles in the face of real-world challenges.
According to Whitman, the long-term model allows participants to practice healthy coping mechanisms and to stumble while still being supported by the team at Paula’s House.
“A lot of our residents come to us lacking basic life skills so we show them how to clean, budget, cook and become self-sufficient.”
Celebrating its 10th anniversary this year, the organization boasts impressive benchmarks including 580 program graduates with a combined total of 63,278 days of sobriety and counting.
It almost didn’t happen.
Facing initial opposition from the “It’s a worthwhile project but not in my backyard” syndrome, including negative flyers distributed from church house steps, board members of Women Empowering Women, the Homes parent organization, stood their ground and in 2004 began operations in a three-bedroom house.
Today, Paula’s House is overseen by a community-based, seven-member board of directors and is partially funded by state and federal grants. It occupies the former Salvation Army Harbor House and includes 18 residential units each adopted and furnished by numerous community members and organizations. A 156-year lease ensures permanency.
Whitman is a current Monroe City Council member. Her career path includes graduation from Monroe High School and Monroe County Community College followed by master’s and doctorate degrees in psychology from the Michigan School of Professional Psychology (MSPP) in Farmington Hills.
In 2017, she was honored with the MSPP Outstanding Alumni Service Award.
Describing herself as “basically shy, soft-hearted and a peacemaker,” when the occasion calls for it Whitman doesn’t hesitate to employ tough love. When a new resident was caught attempting to conceal a banned cellphone amongst her belongings, Whitman admonished her to “either follow house rules or turn around and leave.”
A prospective resident’s first intake question is, “Have you truly sobered up? If not, go back to your lifestyle and when you’re tired of it, call me.”
Whitman said, “I don’t play games. We’re here to save lives.”
According to Selena Metcalf, Paula’s House substance abuse case manager, “We only take women who want to be here, work hard, and change their lives.”
She adds, “Sometimes the women don’t know how to take Paula’s straight-to-the-point honesty but they know it’s heartfelt and in their best interest.
“When our residents see that Paula has gone through the same thing that they are experiencing and come out the other side, it gives them that extra shot of needed hope,” said Metcalf.
She credits Whitman’s “infectious optimism and passion for women in recovery, their children, and their families for keeping us going for the last 10 years. She’s done all this without asking for the spotlight and without fanfare. She’s not afraid to speak out for what she believes in and uses her platforms to make a positive impact.”
Colleagues and community members are quick to describe Whitman as a “dedicated, warm, caring, happy, thoughtful and compassionate” individual.
Slowed in recent years by health challenges, her lifelong pursuit of helping those who need it most remains undiminished.
“My biggest frustration is not being able to go full steam somedays,” she said.
She’s “blessed and forever grateful for a dedicated and caring staff” as the everyday glue that holds the operation together.
Whitman offers her story “as living proof that change can happen” and admonishes, “If you tell others about the good inside them, it will grow. Same with telling them the bad.”
As for leaving a legacy, “I’d like for it to be said that I gave hope to those women who need it most,” she said.
With a soft chuckle, Whitman thinks back to that initial AA meeting.
“I was extremely nervous, not knowing what to expect and who would see me.”
To her surprise, among attendees were several acquaintances from those bartending days, including one who rushed to greet her with what has become Paula’s House’s message to women suffering from substance abuse.
“We saved you a seat.”
Michael Kiefer is a former reporter and columnist for the Kalamazoo Gazette and the Flint Journal. He can be reached at mikekiefer12@gmail.com.
Fundraisers support Paula’s House
Events are scheduled throughout the year to support Paula’s House. Tomorrow’s annual Spring Fling sold 165 advance tickets. The event will be hosted at the Monroe Golf & Country Club and will include dinner, a silent auction, 50/50 raffle and cash bar.
July 23: Paula’s House will be celebrating 10 years of supporting women and their children from 11 a.m. to 2 p.m. at Paula’s House, 3580 S. Custer Road. The public is invited.
Aug. 6: The organization is hosting a golf outing fundraiser at Green Meadows Golf Course. The 18-hole public golf course is at 1555 Strasburg Road in Monroe. To register, call 734-242-6655, email Lisa Young at lisa.paulashouse@gmail.com or log on to www.paulashouse.com for details. Registration deadline is July 28.
